Comments on: In Praise of Inefficiency http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/2009/05/30/in-praise-of-inefficiency/ "In a world always late afternoon, In the circular smells of a slow wind, I listen to the weeds' vesperal whine, Longing for absolutes that never come..." Theodore Roethke Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:25:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Capt http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/2009/05/30/in-praise-of-inefficiency/comment-page-1/#comment-60 Capt Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:42:36 +0000 http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/?p=33#comment-60 Hi Deb, I enjoyed your essay. I have this issue with my brother who threatens to "back a dump truck up to the back door" to alleiviate himself of my Mom's stuff (who is still living). Amazing how indifferent he can be. I really appreciated your insites on aid and attendance, I'm just starting it now after 1 1/2 years caregiving in Mom's home after a massive CVA that left her needing 24/7. AL is not an option. Wish you would make a final entry of how that worked out. I understand it must be a hard subject, sorry about your losses. Thanks. Hi Deb, I enjoyed your essay. I have this issue with my brother who threatens to “back a dump truck up to the back door” to alleiviate himself of my Mom’s stuff (who is still living). Amazing how indifferent he can be.
I really appreciated your insites on aid and attendance, I’m just starting it now after 1 1/2 years caregiving in Mom’s home after a massive CVA that left her needing 24/7. AL is not an option. Wish you would make a final entry of how that worked out. I understand it must be a hard subject, sorry about your losses. Thanks.

]]> By: Gail Rae Hudson http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/2009/05/30/in-praise-of-inefficiency/comment-page-1/#comment-41 Gail Rae Hudson Thu, 02 Jul 2009 23:30:18 +0000 http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/?p=33#comment-41 I'm with you...the suggestion that adult children should be cleaning out their parents' lives before they're dead and without their suggestion is horrifying. I also face not only a house but a shed full of stuff...and am only barely into thinking about it, let alone doing it. However, when my mother was alive one of her delights was rediscovering her possessions...and the attached memories. I used this as an activity; and loved doing it with her. I would have considered the idea of cleaning out her life before her life ended as evidence of my impending mental illness. We are a "thing" species. Things and our relationship to them is part of how we define ourselves. I can only imagine the message an adult child might impart to living parents by insisting on dispersing her parents' "things" before those parents' lives had dispersed. It smacks of erasing a person's definition while the person is alive. Yes, it's hard, and it's going to take a long time for me to distribute and/or donate those of my mother's things that I won't be keeping, the evidence of her life. Little by little it's happening, but even my sisters balk at my suggestions of what to do with this or that, and they didn't live with the stuff. On the other hand, a friend told me about one of her friends who lost her husband and within a week had cleared the house of almost everything that had belonged to him. At least the woman didn't do this before her husband died. This is, truly, a matter of different strokes for different folks. Additionally, "different" doesn't mean "aberrant", in these cases. My favorite essay of yours, so far! Excellent topic! Glad you spotted that article and were moved to respond! I’m with you…the suggestion that adult children should be cleaning out their parents’ lives before they’re dead and without their suggestion is horrifying. I also face not only a house but a shed full of stuff…and am only barely into thinking about it, let alone doing it. However, when my mother was alive one of her delights was rediscovering her possessions…and the attached memories. I used this as an activity; and loved doing it with her. I would have considered the idea of cleaning out her life before her life ended as evidence of my impending mental illness.
We are a “thing” species. Things and our relationship to them is part of how we define ourselves. I can only imagine the message an adult child might impart to living parents by insisting on dispersing her parents’ “things” before those parents’ lives had dispersed. It smacks of erasing a person’s definition while the person is alive.
Yes, it’s hard, and it’s going to take a long time for me to distribute and/or donate those of my mother’s things that I won’t be keeping, the evidence of her life. Little by little it’s happening, but even my sisters balk at my suggestions of what to do with this or that, and they didn’t live with the stuff.
On the other hand, a friend told me about one of her friends who lost her husband and within a week had cleared the house of almost everything that had belonged to him. At least the woman didn’t do this before her husband died.
This is, truly, a matter of different strokes for different folks. Additionally, “different” doesn’t mean “aberrant”, in these cases.
My favorite essay of yours, so far! Excellent topic! Glad you spotted that article and were moved to respond!

]]> By: deb http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/2009/05/30/in-praise-of-inefficiency/comment-page-1/#comment-16 deb Sun, 31 May 2009 20:27:40 +0000 http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/?p=33#comment-16 And thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it! Deb And thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!

Deb

]]> By: Putley http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/2009/05/30/in-praise-of-inefficiency/comment-page-1/#comment-15 Putley Sun, 31 May 2009 18:52:37 +0000 http://songsfromaspiraltree.com/blog/?p=33#comment-15 Amen. Have and will continue to check in at Yellow Wallpaper and love your new blog. Thank you for both. Amen. Have and will continue to check in at Yellow Wallpaper and love your new blog. Thank you for both.

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